The gay community is not as homogeneous as the non-gays might like to think. We're like the majority - what I refer to as the mainstream non-gays - there are factions, special interest groups, one-issue advocates, the nondescript and the brazen. But this diversity within the community also has its prejudices, and we all don't love the same things. It seems to be politically-incorrect that I and some other gays have little tolerance for gay pride parades. My own taste in parades would encompass... no, wait a minute... I don't think I like any, what I call, frivolous parades, regardless of the message. Being an equal-opportunity curmudgeon, I also cringe when I see a Shriner on a little tricycle, or a mascot in a plush costume coming my way.A gay man's taste in causes and entertainments is as objectified and exclusionary as likes and dislikes are for heterosexuals - I make no apology for what I like.When it comes to Pride parades, it seems that basically everything gaudy that the supporters lining the streets love leaves me cold. I don't get the attraction of scantily-clad guys shaking tail on the floats. (I can appreciate a fit guy in a Speedo, but it is a contextual attraction for me.) I don't get the over-sized butterfly or angel wings worn by roller-skaters, just as I don't get Cirque de Soleil. I don't like bare butts in a public setting, and I'm not even a prude. Even the dykes on bikes are a bore after a while. I've also never been a big fan of drag queens nor a fan of big drag queens - trying too hard to be a simulacrum or send-up of femininity. Similarly, the overly-leathered chunky guys wearing backless chaps try too hard to be uber-masculine and so often fail.
This is not an axe I'm grinding, it is a preference being stated. My personal life story has been mostly good, which I attribute to being open and refusing to be marginalized because of orientation. I've had material success and personal stability. I've been out for 35 years, and have lived openly at work, with neighbours and with my family (though my parents never broached the subject other than to advise me not to talk about it). I'm also in year 27 of my relationship. But there have been the bad and the ugly, including discrimination and gay-bashing in both Halifax and Vancouver. There are still lots of mainstream people hating or barely tolerating us. Even so, man, my gay life has been fun, illuminating, fulfilling and satisfying; I've had no urge to be straight. (And that lack of interest or non-jealousy in walking the straight - and to me, the narrow - path can dismay people.) In a little, bizarre way, I miss the time when it was more mysterious and exotic to be gay. Isn't there always an attraction to the outsider's life as an outlaw?
I don't wish to be Mr. Conventional, nor do I wish to wave from a float. All of this chatter may explain my dichotomous views. My hope is not to be maligned for not appreciating the spectacle - I do not turn my back on the non-homogenized gay community, so to speak, but just the parades. It is also my view that without the courage of parade participants and activists of years past, Canada would never have progressed with gay (i.e. civil and human) rights without these squeaky wheels. To them, I am in debt and I offer my appreciation.
Long live the PRIDE parades... have fun... just leave me out of it. And please, don't hate me for it.
2 comments:
Glad to see another gay blogger who isn't twenty-something but has been around a bit - like me!
I also am very happy being gay and wouldn't take a pill to be straight (not that there's anything wrong in it).
As for parades. You have to remember there's a difference between a parade celebrating all aspects of gay/LGBT culture, and a more politically-oriented March. I have no problem with parades, but I prefer marches. I don't know if you've ever actually been in a Gay Pride Parade, but you have to remember that the vast majority of participants are just "average" people who happen to be gay, but the MEDIA -- the cameras -- almost always focus on the more "colorful" members of the community because they attract more attention and threfore seem more "news-worthy." If you ever decide to participate in a gay march you'll see what I mean.
In the meantime, keep blogging!
I seem to run across a lot of people who are not fans of Pride parades (nor gay bars, for that matter). On one level, I don't understand it, because it's just a group of people with a common interest (one that you and I share) having fun and magnifying the often stereotypical qualities of the group. I often wonder what people are afraid of. Are they scared that they actually see themselves portrayed at the parade and are somehow ashamed of a certain part of themselves? That gets into some deep psychological issues, and I believe it's true of some I've run across. However, I must say, your post was the most balanced, reasonable and sensible commentary on it I've read. You clearly aren't a parade guy... no big deal. So, I really appreciate your thoughts on this.
Have a good one and keep blogging! :)
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